How to Make Parent-Teacher Conferences Work for Your Child

You've been asked to attend a regularly scheduled "report card" conference with your child's teacher. Or you've gotten a special note from your child's teacher asking to see you. In either case, you might be a little nervous.

 

Well, relax. Teachers don't want to put parents on the spot. They just like to meet with parents from time to time to discuss how to help students do their best in school.

 

All children learn in different ways. They have their own individual personalities, and their own listening and work habits. To help their students learn new knowledge and skills, teachers must know as much as they can about each child's likes and dislikes. No one knows more about these things than you, the parents. And no one has more influence over your children than you.

That's why teachers need your help to do a first-class job. Working together, you and the teacher can help your child have a successful school year.

 

Here are Some Things to Keep in Mind

Start the conference right: be there on time, and plan not to run over the amount of time that has been set aside, usually about 40 minutes.

If you are a working parent who can't arrange to meet during regular hours, make this clear to the teacher and try to set up a time to meet that is good for both of you.

The best conferences are those in which both teachers and parents stay calm and try hard to work together for one purpose and one purpose only: to help your child do well. Arguing, or blaming each other for problems your child is having, helps no one.

Getting Ready

 

Each teacher will probably come prepared with samples of your children's work and with ideas to help them do even better in school. You should get ready for each conference, too.

 

Talk to your children before the conference. Find out what they think are their best subjects, and what subjects they like the least. Find out why. Also, ask your children if there is anything they would like you to talk about with their teachers. Make sure your children don't worry about the meeting. Help them understand that you and their teacher(s) are meeting together in order to help them.

Before you go to the school, write notes to yourself about:

• things about your child's life at home, personality, problems, habits, and hobbies you feel it's important for the teacher to know
• your concerns about the school's programs or policies
• questions about your child's progress
• how you and the school can work together to help your child
• If your spouse can't attend the conference with you, ask for his or her concerns and questions.

The Conference

 

Some good questions to ask are these:

Is my child in different groups for different subjects? Why?

How well does my child get along with others?

What are my child's best and worst subjects?

Is my child working up to his or her ability?

Does my child participate in class discussions and activities?

Has my child missed any classes other than ones I contacted the school about?

Have you noticed any sudden changes in the way my child acts? For example, have you noticed any squinting, tiredness or moodiness that might be a sign of physical or other problems?

What kinds of tests are being done? What do the tests tell about my child's progress? How does my child handle taking tests?

It's a good idea to ask your most important questions first, just in case time runs out before you and the teacher have a chance to discuss them all. Be sure to ask the teacher for specific suggestions on ways to help your child do better. This is the most important part of the meeting. It will become your action plan. If the teacher says something you don't quite understand, don't be shy about asking for an explanation. It's a good idea to end the conference by summing up decisions you've made together. If needed, ask to meet again.

After the Conference

Start immediately on the action plan you and the teacher worked out together. Discuss the plan with your child. Make sure he or she knows that you and the teacher care. To see if the action plan is working, watch your child's behavior and check your child's classwork and homework.

 

Stay in regular touch with the teacher to discuss the progress your child is making. Meeting with your child's teachers should help build strong parent-teacher partnerships - partnerships that are needed if you and your child's teachers are to reach your common goal of helping your child get the best education possible.

 

 

Education Begins at Home - Seven Tips to Help

The California Teachers Association and the California State PTA have joined together to offer some tips for helping your children learn. Here are some ways you can give your children the best opportunities to succeed in school.

 

1. Just Ask. Ask your children what they studied in class today - what they liked and what they learned. Asking questions shows that school is important.

 

2. Quiet Study. Choose a place for home study and make sure the room is quiet during that time. Creating a quiet place goes a long way toward helping your children learn.

 

3. Regular Schedule. Set up a certain time of day that is dedicated to homework. Follow up with your children to be sure their homework is complete and turned in on time.

 

4. Learn Together. If you want your children to read their assignments, give yourself an assignment, too. When it's time for them to do homework, take a break and spend a few minutes reading a book, magazine or newspaper.

 

5. Learn Everywhere. Increase your children's interest in homework by connecting school to everyday life. For instance, your children can learn fractions and measurements while you prepare favorite foods together.

 

6. Meet Their Teachers. Meet with your children's teachers to find out what they are learning and discuss their progress in school.

7. Praise Helps. Praise your children for successfully completing homework. Nothing encourages children more than praise from their parents.

 

How can I help my child learn to read?

 

Should I teach my child the alphabet before he starts school"?

 

"When my child doesn't know a word in her reading books, should I tell her what it is?"

 

"I tell my child to 'sound out' words he doesn't know. Is that all right?"

These are just a few of the questions parents ask teachers about their children's reading. The first 'R' is a subject parents are deeply concerned about. They know that reading is a basic tool their child will need for success throughout his or her entire school and college career. They know that a youngster with reading disabilities is seriously handicapped in keeping up in class work, textbook study, supplementary reading, and in following instructions accurately when taking tests.

 

One of the questions most frequently asked by parents is: "Should I help my child learn to read - and if so, how can I go about it?" Classroom teachers say that parents can do many things to help their child develop this important skill. Following are some specific ideas.

Ways to Help Preschoolers

 

If your child is curious and is making comments about letters, there is no reason why she should not become familiar with the alphabet before she starts school. Playing with alphabet blocks and singing "The Alphabet Song" are happy ways for your child to become acquainted with letters.

 

Make books a joyous and important part of your child's life. Read to him every day. Let him talk about the stories. Ask questions about the pictures. Ask him to point out pictured objects that are alike and different in shape and in color. This activity helps children to observe small differences in the shapes of letters and words, when learning to read.

 

Avoid baby talk. Speak to your child in grownup language now, so she will recognize words she sees and hears in the classroom. Also, baby words for objects may be laughed at by the other youngsters. Provide a variety of experiences. Take your child to the zoo, the park, the airport. Teach the child the names of animals, flowers, etc. In order to understand the words encountered in reading, your child should have first-hand experience with the objects they stand for.

 

From time to time, give your child simple, consecutive instructions. For example: "Pick up the ball, then bounce it, then put it on the table." Make a game out of it, if you like. Such activities will help your child develop memory skills and follow directions accurately, both of which are essential in school.

Ways to Help In Grades 1, 2, 3

 

Have your child's eyes checked just prior to entrance into the first grade and periodically after that. Have his or her ears checked, too. Defects in hearing, as well as in vision, may hold back reading progress, particularly during the early stages of reading when new words are often introduced orally.

If he wants to read aloud to you from his school book, listen attentively. If he stumbles over a word from time to time, simply tell him what it is. However, if he misses many words in material with which he should be familiar, consult his teacher.

 

When she reads aloud to you, don't try to use teaching techniques, such as having her "sound out" words. Instead, enjoy the story together, laugh over it, discuss the plot, praise her for reading especially well, or for figuring out a word for herself.

 

Give children extra opportunities to read. Let them read the directions for that new game or for putting model airplanes together. Ask them to "help you" by reading the cookie recipe or traffic signs. Introduce the pleasures of the public library. Let him browse. Get a library card for her. Let him choose books that he wants, rather than books you feel he should read. Buy books for children, too, as the basis for a home library of their own.

 

Let your child see you reading frequently, sharing choice passages with others, referring to books for answers.

Ways to Help in Grades 4, 5, 6

 

Provide your child with a reliable home dictionary and encyclopedia. Encourage children to look up subjects that puzzle or interest them. In school, reading lessons include library research.

 

If your child is not enthusiastic about reading, choose books on subjects sure to interest her or him: books on sports, books of riddles or magic tricks, books on hobbies. Be sure they are not too difficult for your child to read.

 

If she's a television rather than a reading fan, see which programs she prefers and provide suitable books on the same subjects. If westerns are her favorites, for example, she'll probably enjoy some of the fine children's books now available about the early west. If a young person is an avid comic book reader (ages 9, 10, and 11 are likely to be), don't make a big issue out of it. Make sure your child is also provided with other more worthwhile books that offer lively adventure in an easy-to-read format. Most children outgrow the comic book phase, if other literature is available in their homes.

If Your Child Is Having Trouble with Reading

Don't become irritated and disgusted with her. Her difficulties probably stem from factors she cannot control. Your anxiety will make her so resentful and discouraged that her reading difficulties will increase.

 

Don't compare his reading with other, more successful young readers in his family or neighborhood. Such comparisons make a youngster feel inept and inferior, and may keep him from reading at all.

 

Don't air your child's reading difficulties in front of family or visitors. In fact, the less you discuss them - except in private, with the teacher - the better. Don't try to solve your child's reading problems yourself. Have a conference with the teacher. If she or he thinks they are serious enough for remedial reading help, or for a consultation with the school psychologist, take expert advice.

 

Motivation for Learning: Parents Can Help

by Raymond J. Wlodkowski

As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty.

So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least verbally, the values of studying, of "hitting the books and burning the midnight oil." But with our sermonettes, cajoling, and in some instances, begging and threatening our children to study and learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children's benefit, and resent our roles as minister- wardens in the service of modern education.

What Can Parents Do?

There is much that we can do. What follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not. Rather, it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.

Actively demonstrate your value for learning.

The basic question here is "Can your children see that you are still a learner?" Do you read books, go to the library, watch educational TV programs, write letters, or attend local school functions? Do you discuss ideas at home, share opinions on social and political change, or wonder out loud about new scientific and aesthetic discoveries? Do you read to your children, play educational games like Monopoly and chess with them, or facilitate their involvement in creative projects?

Our modeling is a powerful incentive to our children's learning. If they see us doing it, then they know it's worthwhile and can identify with us. If they don't see us enjoying learning, they can dismiss our support for learning as another example of "not practicing what we preach."

Show a non-threatening interest in your child's learning. This means that you care and want to know what your child is learning, but not for purposes of criticism or surveillance. In this manner you might ask about what s/he is learning in school or indicate your desire to see papers and projects s/he is creating.

The dinner table is an excellent setting for exploration of new things your child has learned at school. On these occasions your disposition should be to understand and share in the enjoyment of your child's learning. They are not situations in which to criticize or be demanding of the child to improve or to show superior work. Such reactions will usually cause the young person to avoid discussions of this nature, or worse, to resent schoolwork for the oppression it brings to homelife.

Consistently offer your child a sincere expectancy that s/he can learn effectively. In order to learn, children must believe that they can learn. Much of this attitude is influenced by the work they do in school and the expectations and feedback they receive from teachers and other students. You as a parent, however, are the most important adult in your child's life. Whatever you say or do regarding his or her ability to learn will have a major impact on the child's self-concept as an effective learner.

By acknowledging effort as well as success, you tell the child that the intrinsic act of learning is valued. This approach builds an appreciation of learning for the sake of learning.

Get involved in your child's school. At one time it was believed that students did not learn because they were lazy or stupid. We now know that this is a misleading and injurious fallacy. At least two other erroneous beliefs continue to misguide us, however - one, that students don't learn because their teachers are not effective; the other, that students will not learn because their parents don't care and therefore don't prepare them to learn. Both may have some partial truth, but both are far too simplistic to explain the causes behind poor student motivation.

It is far more likely that the student, the teacher, and the parent all play significant roles in determining how motivated the student is to learn. As parents, we can do our part by being involved in the life of those schools that educate our children. By knowing the teachers, by being aware of the curriculum, and by supporting the school itself, we ourselves can be more knowledgeable and, indeed, motivated to facilitate the motivation of our children to learn.

 

How to Help Your Child Learn Study Skills

By Susan & William Stainback

 

We live in an increasingly complex society in which getting a good education is no longer an option, but a necessity. Yet many children don't do as well in school as they or their parents would like. The difference between children who do poorly in school and those who do well often relates to what their parents do at home to help.

 

When parents take the time to help, it can influence school success as much or more than a child's intellectual capacity or the quality of the school he or she attends. Good study skills will provide your child with a basic tool needed to succeed in school. So, what can you do to help? Help With a Study Schedule

 

When helping your child arrange a study schedule, keep several points in mind:

 

The time arranged for study should occur at the same time each day . Most children, like adults, are creatures of habit. When they get used to doing something at the same time each day, it becomes easier to remember and do rather than if it occurs at different times each day.

 

Work with your child to set aside times for study when he or she is most alert . Involve your child in making the schedule. Children are more likely to accept a study schedule that they have been involved in setting up than one that has been imposed upon them. Help your child be realistic in the amount of time scheduled. Help With Study Goals

 

Children who have daily study goals are more organized, focused and motivated during study sessions. The reason is that study goals provide something specific to strive for. Encourage your child to:

 

Develop goals based on homework assignments . Three or four small goals that your child can attain one by one work better than one large goal. Check off each goal as it is completed. Every time your child checks off a goal, it will give him or her a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. This helps provide the incentive to keep going. Promote studying for understanding . When children understand what they study, they remember it more easily than if they simply memorize it. Guide your child in these ways. Begin each study session with the assignments that are most difficult to learn and understand. Use the "survey-read-resurvey" procedure. Tell your child first to survey for the main ideas in the chapter. This can be done by reading the introduction and summary to the chapter and any study questions that might be listed at the beginning or end of the chapter. Once your child gains an understanding of the main ideas, he or she should carefully read the chapter.

Finally, have your child look back through or resurvey the chapter and try to further understand and remember the main ideas and important details. Think about what is being studied and figure out a "point of view." For example, when studying weather, or more specifically rain, encourage your child to form an opinion about what causes rain. Once a point of view is determined, your child can then decide what information or evidence supports and does not support that point of view.

 

Formulate questions . While it may seem time-consuming and awkward at first, once your child learns how to make up and seek answers to questions while studying, the task becomes more interesting, fun, and more understandable and meaningful. It is not critical which questions your child asks. But it is essential that he or she ask questions because this will promote an active, involved, and thinking approach to studying. Summarize . Outlining is one way of summarizing. The simplest way to outline is to use the textbook headings and subheadings, listing the major points covered underneath each heading.

 

Notetaking is another summarizing technique that has been found to be very helpful in fostering understanding and remembering . The benefits of notetaking are that your child not only summarizes what is studied but also is involved in translating what is being studied into his or her own words.

 

Underlining or highlighting important key ideas, facts, and details to be remembered also can be helpful . Organize important facts and information into categories whenever possible. The process of putting things into categories can help your child recognize, understand, and remember essential information. Take a few minutes at regular intervals to reflect on what was just learned . When doing this, your child may want to talk about what was learned or write notes about it. If your child understands what was just studied, he or she will be able to visualize it and talk intelligently about it during reflection time. If not, encourage your child to reread or restudy the material.

 

Recognize Achievements

 

A child who receives recognition for academic achievement is much more likely to want to excel in school. Thus, focus on what your child does right - that is, look for achievements. Remember that a major key to improving your child's school success is making him or her feel successful. Train yourself to look for the good things your child does - look for success. Let your child know you like it and encourage it. If you focus on, expect and recognize success, you will get more of it. While it's important to recognize and pay attention to your child's achievements, you should focus recognition and attention on those accomplishments that are new or challenging to your child. Excessive recognition for everything, no matter how trivial, can result in your recognition losing its worth or value for encouraging your child to learn and try new things.

 

Two Final Tips

 

Consider the time you have to help, and pick those techniques you have the time and energy to direct and supervise.

 

Always save time after each session, at the end of a week or at another scheduled time for you and your child to look at what has been accomplished and take pride in those accomplishments.